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Friday, June 30, 2006


There was a time that water felt tortoise need it to survive. So it tried to keep itself around tortoise no matter how hot the weather was. Evaporation happened all the time and converted it became vapor. However, it didnt want to leave tortoise alone. So it made all its way to condense itself back into water and wanted to take care of tortoise, no matter how hard it was. Until one day, tortoise made its way to higher ground which water couldnt reach it. Water was so nervous and worried. One week, two weeks.... the tortoise is survive there. Finally, water realised that tortoise is not a fish, in fact, tortoise does not live in the water. The dream is over. It evaporated in the air, with the best wishes on tortoise :)

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Happy + Sad = Sigh

LT's future is secured as her boss asked her to stay in the company. Her boss seem did a lot of survey regarding her performance after she handed off her resignation letter. She told me they talked a lot today. Her boss seem eventually realise her capabilities and tried to pursued her continue to work there. Of course, she agreed the offer. I am supporting this decision as well. I think this is a good opportunity for her to push up her career as she got her boss's attention. I feel happy for her as well.

Anyway, i still feel proud of her. I always believe that she is a capable girl. If she happy, i should feel happy too :)

Footage shows schoolgirls in a gang-fight

MIRI (The Star Press): Video footages showing what appeared to be a beachfront gang-fight here, involving a group of female students in uniforms, have been circulating on mobile phones and posted on the Internet.

They showed a group of girls kicking, slapping, punching and pulling the hair of another female student, watched by a group of male students, also in uniform. The male students were just standing around watching. Rumours of the incident spread after some students received the picture messages on their phones that showed girls in school uniforms fighting. The background in the pictures showed a beach area resembling the one about 2km from the city centre.

GIRLS TOO?: This undated picture from a video taken from a website shows a secondary school student slapping another girl at a beach in Miri, Sarawak. The video, which also showed the other girls kicking, slapping, punching and pulling the girl’s hair, was first circulated on mobile phones. It could not be immediately confirmed if the girls were just acting or a fight had taken place.

A check with the police showed that there was no report of students being assaulted.
SMK Joseph principal Marcus Gauliang said the school had not received any report on the matter and that it could be the work of some students trying to smear the school's image.
“But we will investigate the case if we receive a report,” he said.

Some parents, whose children are studying in schools located in the area, have also heard about the incident.
“Initially, when my son showed me the pictures, I thought it was a joke,” said a father who has a son in school.
“However, my son received a message later from his friend saying that the same footages are being aired over the Internet.
“On closer scrutiny, the footages on the website looked very real. The schoolgirls were filmed in action, with sounds of yelling and struggling.
“The background scene looks like the Miri beachfront,” said the concerned father of four kids.
The girls were speaking in Chinese and their faces could be seen quite clearly.

My comment : Well, this incident is quite famous and hot now in Malaysia. I am still looking for the video to understand what was happened actually. Am i lost my link with young generation now-a-days? I cant understand why so many people now like to act before make use their brain's basic function -> think! Sometime i would feel that people now-a-days are too comfortable with their life until they are so lazy to work out their brain. Our children now seem never have chance to learn whats called "responsible to your action", Parents would always cover their ass. There are even parents questioned teachers why punished their kids for fighting, as they called it as "strike before been attacked" when facing danger (hmm... are they Bush's supporter?). Its already too long time for us to evaluate our education system, both home and school.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Cry Baby :'(

LOL... cry baby.... i was the ONE!

As i described in previous post, i was really great in crying when young. I think i was too dependent on my parent, especially my dad that time. If i couldnt see any of them more than half an hour then i would start to feel worry and cry. My cry used to start with a sour face, then few drops of tear, later i would start to cry with 'wooo..wooo..woooo', then became 'ahhh..ahhh...ahhh', and eventually would become very very loudly shout.

I still remember that the very first 2 weeks of my kindergarten class were started with my shout. All kids were infected by my 'virus' and some of them would start to cry too (errr.... even though sometime they were the one affected me :p). The situation was became better after couple of weeks, as i was getting used to the classroom environment.

Well, after 2 years, same 'scenes' happened for the first 2 weeks of my primary one class as well. This time nobody was cried together with me, but all of them would stare at me... sigh, how embarassing i was.

Anyway, i like my kindergarten period very much. My dad would carry me to the school garden during rest time. He went back home when i was in class and came a moment before my rest time started. I get excited when i saw those flowers, grasses, tress and kids chasing each other there. I really enjoy outdoor :)

I think i became rarely cry after 11 years old. Ya, maybe because i growed up .. LOL

Hunt for prostitutes

LOL ... my friend was asking me whether want to go Thailand for prostitute hunting, quite surprise that he would invite me for such thing. :D He might feel that I am all alone too long and need to balance up a bit LOL..... I answered him that i not interested in such thing now ( :p in fact my heart already has a girl and i not really interested in other girls now, no matter for love or for sex.... oh.... am i sick? ), but i can go with him for beer hunting, beer in Thailand is damn cheap!!!

After that he said i can find a chick for massage while drinking, at least relax and enjoy a bit. I said the idea is not bad, then he replied, "You get massage for your body, I get massage for other part" #*&^%$ LOL

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

My work

I just realised that i never mention about my work here.

I started my work in Penang as Failure Analysis Engineer since March 2005. This is my first job after graduation from UTM (Universiti Teknologi Malaysia). Well, its excited that i survive myself in job hunting game, as there were more than 10000 graduates couldnt get a job in 6 months that time.

So far i am satisfying with my job environment. My colleagues are fine, even though i am really able to get close with most of them. My supervisor is kind, but i have to say that his management skill is not good enough. I got my increment early this year, even though i feel that i didnt do anything significant.

My job is consider boring. I am doing kind of research type of work, which i feel helpless as there are totally no reference to get start. I have to start something and come out with result from nothing. Phiew.... sound cool? nope, its bad. I have been given too much of freedom and i am quite hardly to get any help from others when i facing problem; none of them know the thing i am working on :'( Sometime i am really fade up

I miss my university campus life .... :(

Classic love story that happens everywhere

Browsed through Nanyang Press online and able to read an article. Its a classic love story that we can see everywhere all the time.

Nana (arbitrary name) is an active girl, pretty, therefore she never lack of admirers. However, she ever failed in a relationship, added with a lot of terrible relationship among her friends, she becomes hard to accept a guy.

Among her admirers there are 2 guys, Fred and Ming, both are her colleagues. Fred is handsome, humour, active, and so he has a lot of admirers as well. Ming is calm, practical guy who caring Nana a lot if her daily life and help her to solve her problems. Even though she have feel towards both guys, but, humour guy always has some advantages, and so, she prefer Fred more than Ming. When both the guys confessed to her, she accepted Fred.

Everything was fine at the beginning. They have same interest, active and outgoing. Ming was been rejected, however, he still loves Nana and caring her as usual. After few months, as passion gone, Nana and Fred started to quarrel. Fred is quite egoistic and therefore Nana's opinion and feeling were always been ignored. As time gone, Fred finally has affair with another girl and then they broken off. She accepted Ming eventually as Ming's consistency and sincerity touched her.

Errr..... what a boring and ordinary story ...

However, i like the comment given in the article :

There are always choices in love, A is outstanding, B is romantic, C is handsome and caring, in such situation, girls always confuse in making decision, there are even some of them playing two or 3 timers.

Girls like surprises, being care and love as a treasure, however, a sincere, ordinary guy can give you the most secure life. Love is a one way road, you can never get all you want. Understand what you want in your life, understand what you really need from a relationship, then choose wisely.

Monday, June 26, 2006


Sleeping Beauty Castle was decorated for park's 15 years old birthday

Disneyland Park is a theme park at the Disneyland Resort in Anaheim, California, USA, 28 miles from Downtown Los Angeles, and is owned and operated by The Walt Disney Company. Disneyland Park has become one of the world's most famous locations and also one of the most visited sites. An estimated 515 million visitors have visited the park since its opening on July 17, 1955. A worldwide celebration in commemoration of Disneyland's 50th anniversary began on May 5, 2005.


Monorail Blue travels over the currently closed Submarine Voyage lagoon in Tomorrowland.

Walt Disney and his brother Roy already headed one of Hollywood's more successful studios founded in 1923, long before the idea of a park even began to form. Walt's original concept was of a permanent family fun park without the negative element which traveling carnivals often attracted. He developed the idea during his many outings with his daughters Diane and Sharon, when he realized that there were no parks with activities that parents and children could enjoy together.

Famous statue of Walt and Mickey, called "Partners", stands at the end of Main Street

The Parade of the Stars in Disneyland from 2004 (closed in early 2005).

While many people had written letters to Walt Disney about visiting the Disney Studio lot and meeting their favorite Disney character, Walt realized that a functional movie studio had little to offer to the visiting fan. He then began to foster ideas of building a site at or near his Burbank studios for tourists to visit and perhaps take pictures with Disney characters set in statue form. His ideas then evolved to a small play park with a boat ride and other themed areas. Walt's initial concept, his "Mickey Mouse Park," grew bigger and bigger into a concept for a larger enterprise which was to become Disneyland. (source wikipedia)

Lets start all over again

hmm... i decided to start all over again. I will try to woo LT again. However, I wont be aggressive. I know she need time to accept me, as she was hurt before. I will let her know that how much i love her.

Anyway, lets start all over again from friendship. Today criticised seriously by my junior. I think my junior is right, the way i love her before is wrong. I should give her more space, let her to decide what she wants. She is old and matured enough to know what is she doing, who is truly love her, and what is the best for herself. My patient might not be enough, so i have to evaluate myself again. By the way, i hope she can understand that i have no other intention to date her out. I dont need any commitment. I just want to see her once a while, talk to her, just like very close good friend :) i am ok even she doesnt accept me at the end of the day.

Future, lets future to decide. i only trying my best for what i can do. :) I love LT.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

First meet with LT

In fact LT was attached when we knowing each other in ICQ. She was just started a relationship with her 2nd-ex that time. :) i knew this that time, and so, i never think of that one day in future i would fall in love with her. Besides that, i also told her that i am a disabled person. She claimed that she is a handicapped girl as well, as she got cleft lip (hare lip). Anyway, i wonder thats really a handicap, because i feel her treated cleft lip actually makes her look sexier to me :p

After i got my first job offer from Penang, i started to message her more in MSN to ask her all-about Penang. That time i was looking for place to live, transportation to work, try to settle food problem and many others daily issues. We even plan to live together that time as she was also looking for new place to move. However, as her 2nd-ex was refused to live with stranger, then i decided to find a room for my own only.

After i reached Penang, we kept in touch with sms. I still remember the third day i was in Penang, I sms her to ask where i could buy pirated VCD, LOL. She replied me that "it is illegal" :-/ really made me speechless.....

I came to Penang with my dad and eldest brother that time. They stay with me for a week then they went back to JB. Started from the day I have to manage my life alone. In fact, I am no confident on how well i can manage my life. Anyway, things seem going well. The third week i was in Penang, LT called me up from office. Her voice is quite sweet. After some rubbish chat she decided to visit me in my house.

In fact i didnt remember how she exactly look like in the first meet. I didnt really check her out in detailed. I am kind of shy when deal with girl, especially that was our first meet. The only thing i remember is she is very fair, in long hairs, like to joke and overall she made me feel comfortable with her. We didnt really talk much. She helped me to put my dirty clothes into washing machine and then we browsed through some TV channels. She left after around 30 minutes.

I think this concluded our first meet.

A silly guy

I did a silly thing today again. Drove 3 hours and get lost for 1 hour, at the end seem i made wrong decision again. Feel i am so useless. :'(

Saturday, June 24, 2006

My life goal

Hmm... i declare myself as a simple person, with some simple dreams, which may not be easy to get. My legacy is simple - Be a person who worth to be remember. I try my best to be nice with people around me, try not to give any burden on anyone, try to help within my ability, and try to be happy.

I have 3 goals in my life.

1. Be independent. I dont want to let my parents to worry about me anymore. They were doing too much for me. I want prove to them that i can handle my life well, and so they can really do the things they want to do, and for their ownselves.

2. To form a happy family. Everyone hopes that able to find their true love and then being together happily forever. However, not many of them really dare to set it as a life goal. There are so much people who ever hurt in a relationship given up the courage to try another partner. Anyway, i believe that true love will come to you as long as you still believe in it. Besides that, So far i am still struggling to live independently in Penang alone. I know my parents are still worrying about me. If i am able to get a partner who is able to take care each other with me, i sure my parents can really be relieved. Dont worry, i will not simply get a partner for that reason. I dont want to hurt anyone.

3. stabilized financial status. I hope that i can manage my money well and achieve financial relief by 50 years old. I am actively incolve myself in financial planning study now and had drafted out a 30 years financial plan for myself, my parents and my future family (if i able to form one). I want to give comfortable life especially to my parents, its time for me to serve them then. However, i wont push myself too hard on this. As i mentioned in previous post, the most important thing in life is what we are having. if i cant appreciate what i am having, no matter how much money i get, i will lost them very soon.

Why be pessimistic in the hopeful world?

I find out that a lot people now-a-day are so fragile. Many of them cant really control their emotional well, cant hadle stress, self-centered and kind of individualistic. A small problem or challenge in life is able to turn them down and then lost confident in many things.

Break off with a lover then argue that there is no true love in this world; betray by a friend then claim that everybody is suspicious; born in a unhappy family then complain that he is an unlucky guy and life is sucks...... it is good to protect yourself, but pessimistic is not the way.

I do believe that everybody has a hope deep in their heart, no matter how pessimistic they are, if not they wont choose to stay alive right? What they really need is someone to search and surface up the hope inside them, remind them that "Do you still remember once upon a time, you are believing in this?" ....

Oh please, dont give up your hope, your principles, your happiness, just because of one guy, one incident, or a stupid mistake by anyone; you lost much much more than you thought. Life will be nice if you believe it is nice. If you made a mistakce once, try not to make it twice. If really that bad it happened twice, avoid the next time. As long as you still alive, as long as you still believe, chances are there waiting for you.

Friday, June 23, 2006

The last chance?

In fact there is a matter that always troubling me for the last 6 months. This matter is a thing that i kept asking LT to do for me for the last 6 months but she never do it, except she did it once on 4th March 4.30pm; but she did it that day was due to other reason, was not because of me. I dont know what is the last day she works in Sg. Petani, if not mistaken is 7th July. So, i really hope that she can do it by the date. Maybe she doesnt understand the meaning behind. The meaning would be totally different if she do it only after she resigned from her job. If she really fail to do it, i dont know i still able to love her like now or not.. sigh, maybe i really is not good enough for her.

Are you granted?

Human has an unforgivable weakness - they always take things as granted if they used to have them, no matter how many times they were warned that they would lost them in future if they do not appreciate them properly.

Do you ever think of why your eyes, ears, hands, legs, lungs, heart, kidneys, liver are functioning well? What if one day they are not? or at least, any of them is not?

Do you ever think of why you still able to see your either dad, mom, family members, friends, colleagues and others alive? What if one day they are not? or maybe, any of them is not? what if tomorrow will be the day?

Do you ever think of why your mom have to cook this or that for you? why your dad scold you when you when you done something that might hurt yourself? why your lover tolerate you so much no matter what you did to him? .... what if, one day, they stop doing all these things for you?

Appreciate what you are having, taking care of your health, talk more to your parents, drop an sms to your friends, give a kiss to your lover, and dont forget, do them always !!!
A family which live happily said that, the secret of they able to form a warm and happy family is appreciate each other just like you will lost them in the next minute. :D

9 financial shocks for new parents

According to a recent study by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, it costs a middle-income family $250,000 to raise a child from birth to age 17. And that doesn't include the cost of a college education. In the first year alone, the costs of a baby can reach between $9,000 and $11,000, and most new and expectant parents don't realize the size of the financial burden they are taking on.

So where does the money go? Here are the top nine financial shocks that parents face when they add a child to their family.

1. Medical expenses: Medical care for mother and child is a potentially significant expense facing new parents. The cost of delivering a new baby can range from $5,000 to $8,000 for a vaginal delivery to more than $12,000 for a cesarean delivery. If there are complications, those costs can increase dramatically. Even if your child is in perfect health, new babies require numerous well-visit checkups and immunizations.

2. Maternity leave: Although most short-term disability insurance policies cover the time Mom is out of work due to recovery from child birth (or complications during pregnancy), the average policy only pays a portion of your gross income for a set number of weeks (usually four to eight) after birth. If your maternity leave extends beyond the stipulated time, or if Dad decides to take advantage of the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), it will be at no pay unless you use vacation or sick leave.

3. Child care: If both parents work outside of the home, they need to be prepared for probably the biggest financial shock facing new parents -- the cost of child care. Depending upon where you live, child care expenses can range from $5,000 per year for family day care to more than $20,000 per year for a live-out nanny.

4. Diapers and wipes: The average baby goes through ten diapers a day. If you use disposable diapers, that?ll cost you about $2,000 by the time your little one is potty-trained! Add to that the cost of cleaning their little bottom with a wet wipe or two at each diaper change and you?ll be adding about $100 to your monthly grocery bill. Even using cloth diapers can be expensive if you use a diaper service.

5. Formula and/or breast-feeding expenses: The cost of formula shocks just about every new parent. The general rule of thumb is that a baby needs about 2.5 ounces of formula per pound of body weight per day. Breast-feeding can certainly minimize that expense, but there are some hidden costs associated with breastfed babies. For example, you may need to purchase or rent a breast pump, an essential for moms who work outside the home. Nursing bras, breast pads, nursing tops, lanolin ointment and a breast-feeding pillow are also common expenditures.

6. Baby gear: Many new parents don't realize just how much "baby gear" is required to care for and entertain an infant. Crib? Changing table? Rocker or glider? Car seat? Stroller? Baby swing? Monitor? Bouncer seat? Doorway jumper?Most of these items, with the exception of a car seat, can be purchased used. "Baby furniture, such as a changing table, gets very little wear and tear and can be purchased second-hand," advises Wilburn.

7. Clothing and shoes

8. Baby food: Once babies reach 4 to 6 months of age, they start eating baby food in addition to drinking breast milk or formula.

9. Life insurance premiums and attorney fees: Wilburn advises couples to review their life insurance policies and increase them so that each spouse has adequate funds to raise each child to age 21, should something happen to one of them.
(courtesy of MSN home)

A period for guy?

Little bit moody today, without any reason. Wondering if there is also a period for guy to become emotional, anxious, or unsecure? ... i dont know, i didnt really do any research on it. But i think i encounter this state after every certain amount of time ... hmmm.. sound fishy huh... LOL. If there is any research to prove that, then we will have the right to ask women to tolerate us during the time as well as we tolerate them during their period. :p

Superman Returns

Starring: Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, Kevin Spacey, James Marsden, Frank Langella, Parker Posey, Kal Penn, Sam Huntington

Directed By: Bryan Singer

Synopsis: Following a mysterious absence of several years, Superman (Brandon Routh), comes back to Earth--but things have changed. While Lex Luthor (Kevin Spacey) plots to render him powerless once and for all, Superman faces the heartbreaking realization that the woman he loves, Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth), has moved on with her life. Or has she? Superman's bittersweet return challenges him to bridge the distance between them while finding a place in a society that has learned to survive without him. In an attempt to protect the world he loves from cataclysmic destruction, Superman embarks on an epic journey of redemption that takes him from the depths of the ocean to the far reaches of outer space.
(courtesy of

Can I be a superman??? of course, i wont wear my red underwear outside :D

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Pizza Hut lunch

today went to Tesco Pizza hut for lunch. The lunch was organized by my group to welcome 4 new hires to our group (well, we have to share the expence afterward except for new hires). I drove there with 3 of my colleagues. We are quite well as they are always teasing each other, i just laugh aside :p.

after we reached pizza hut, 3 of them arranged me to sit down in front of a new hire. How dare them then sit together at another table and left me alone facing her &^%$# .... Michael (one of the 3 monkeys) said at my ear that they give me chance to talk with the new hire :s ya, she is a girl. sigh....

what happened later? I look at ceiling, people walking outside pizza hut, Morgan (another colleague who sit beside me), Ira (one more colleague who sit beside the new hire)..... err.. i almost look all around the angle i can see, except her :s i scare if she look at me at the same time, i dont know what to say with her (how shame it is)

Luckily Morgan and Ira keep talking so the atmosphere was not too bad. I think she also not really dare to look at me directly as well. At the end? err... we intro each other, but too bad i not really sure how to pronounce her name correctly, Chin EE? Jin EE? Anyway, thats not important. Most important is i had my lunch :p

Shoot the 3 monkeys in the way back to office :-/

Job hunting

today spent some time to search web for job for LT. Suddenly i find out it is so difficult to find a job. Big companies require a lot of academic qualifications (which a lot i feel is not necessary), she might be able to fulfill them; small companies seem rarely put advertisement for hiring, recommendation through friends seem to be the most effective way to get job in there.

At the end i ask for help from a net-friend from Plexus to help to submit her resume in Plexus and Dell. Feel a bit shame as i actually just know her for a week, very very not close with her. Hopefully she wont feel that i am that kind person who only would find her when i have thing for her to do. Besides that, i also ask a friend to pass her resume around within companies in Penang to look for a job suit her. Of course, she looking job for her own self as well. I just help around so she wont be jobless.

One of my friend in Singapore is looking for job as well. Hopefully he able to hunt his job as soon as possible too. Now i know, it is so difficult to get a good job.

Johor Bahru

Located at the southern tip of the Peninsula Malaysia, Johor Bahru is the state capital of Johor Darul Takzim. JB, in short, was established in 1855 by the late Sultan Abu Bakar (the Father of Modern Johor) and now serves as the administrative and commercial center of the state.
Connected to Singapore by road and rail via a modern causeway, JB is also the Peninsula's southern gateway. Consisting of a diverse ethnic mix of races, JB offers the visitor heritage attractions, colorful culture, delectable local cuisine, and exciting recreational activities.
Popular with Singaporeans, JB boasts of myriad landmarks, such as The Grand Palace with its distinct Anglo-Malay architecture, which houses the museum where priceless treasures of the Royal Collection are showcased.

The "Ghazal" music, which is unique to Johor, is usually performed during cultural shows and weddings. Another famous performance distinctly Johorean is the "Kuda Kepang" dance, which is spun from tales of Islamic heroes. Dancers imitate the movement of horses to the music of a traditional orchestra.

Shopping opportunities abound in JB. Modern malls, arcades, handicraft centers, bazaars and markets offering international and local products all vie for attention. Local craftwork is sure to catch the eye and they do make lovely souvenirs of a trip here. Furthermore, there is the JB Duty Free Complex located at the JB International Ferry Terminal. Known as "ZON", it is a large duty free department store and supermarket encompassing 163 retail outlets, a hypermarket, and 30,000 feet of shopping area. The complex offers a variety of goods such as branded designer wear from London, Paris, New York and the likes. Glassware, confectionery, and other items are also offered.

Another interesting side of JB can be experienced when night falls over the city. A sumptuous array of food stalls and vendors appear (as if by magic) and the adventurous tourist should delight in trying out the taste of popular local dishes such as the famous Laksa Johor, flake fish and gravy cooked with coconut milk and served with noodles and vegetables.

I saw this passage from a touring website about Malaysia. To be frank, i lived around JB for nearly 25 years, i dont know JB is so nice. LOL

Couple found dead after argument

By YENG AI CHUN - The Star Press
PENANG - 21 June: A woman had a terrible shock when she found her nephew hanging from the ceiling fan in his flat while his wife was lying dead in another room.

IN BETTER TIMES: Teoh and his wife were married seven years ago.

Teoh Chee Keong’s body was found yesterday in a bedroom of a rented flat at Pinang Court in Jelutong here. His Thai wife, Jansom Panjai, was found in another bedroom. She had been stabbed five times below her left rib and once from behind. Her throat was also slit.

Teoh, 38, a former businessman, and Jansom, 27, who worked at an entertainment outlet, were married for seven years but did not have any children.
Police said Teoh’s aunt, who was not named, lived two doors away and had heard the couple quarrelling on Monday night.

She went to the flat at 10.30am yesterday and knocked on the couple’s door but there was no response. She looked through the window and saw traces of blood in the living room.
The woman then alerted the flat management who opened the door and notified the police.
George Town OCPD Asst Comm Hamzah Md Jamil believed Teoh killed his wife before killing himself.

The couple moved into their rented flat 10 months ago. A neighbour, who declined to be named, said the couple was always quarrelling.

My comment : Well, emotional control is so important to avoid tregedy. Dont do anything that you may regret. Communication is crucial in a relationship. But how many couples in this world able to do that? People nowaday is so eager and rush to development a relationship, but too bad forget about the foundation of a relationship. Most people is so emphasize the so-called "feel" in a relationship, but the relationship become so fragile after the passion was gone, if they never have a good communication. I believe that with proper communication, feel will come sooner later, everyone need a partner who can understand them, not pleasuring them. There is no couple that "not suitable", there is only couple that "refuse to communicate". Why i say so? because, "communicate" is not merely telling what you want or what you are thinking, but also including accept the partner's feel and tolerate what you can tolerate. Telling your feel without hearing partner's heart, is dictating, not communicating.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

The Longest Distance in the World

The longest distance in the world
不是 生与死的距离
is not the separation between live and death
而是 我站在你面前
but when i am standing in front of you
yet you do not know
i love you

The longest distance in the world
is not that i standing in front of you
yet you do not know i love you
而是 爱到痴迷
but, even i love you deeply
i cant confess to you
I love you

the longest distance in the world
不是 我不能说我爱你
is not that i cant say i love you
而是 想你痛彻心脾
but, even miss you terribly
have to keep and stand it all alone

the longest distance in the world
不是 我不能说我想你
is not that i cant say i love you
而是 彼此相爱
but, even loving each other
yet cant be together

The longest distance in the world
is not that loving each other
yet cant be together
but know that love are invincible
still want pretend to be indifferent

the longest ditance in the world
不是 树与树的距离
is not the distance between two trees
而是 同根生长的树枝
but the branches on a single tree
yet not able to get close each other in the wind

the longest distance in the world
不是 树枝无法相依
is not the branches which cant get close to each other
而是 相互了望的星星
but, the stars which looking at each other
yet would never have the chance to meet through their own orbit

the longest distance in the world
不是 星星之间的轨迹
is not the stars' orbit
而是 纵然轨迹交汇
but, even the orbits intersect
they lost each other in a moment

the longest distance in the world
不是 瞬间便无处寻觅
is not the moment lost each other
而是 尚未相遇
but, yet meeting each other
had predestined that can never be together

the longest distance in the world
is the distance between bird and fish
one in the sky
一个 却深潜海底
one deep in the sea

The longest distance in the world (for me)
is the distance between me and LT
where she refuse to open her heart
and i have no idea how to go in (her heart)

i translate this poem so everyone can understand it. i not sure who is the author, but definitely not Tagore (even though a lot of people say was him). If anyone can translate it in a better way, please kindly leave it in my comment. thanks.

I love this poem so much. Love, always hard and hurt if you not be careful, even though you have lots of chances to have it, at the end of the day, you will find out you lost them all because of yourself, if you feel you didnt get your true love. All the best.


It was originally used in ancient Greek city-states to refer to people who were overly concerned with their own self-interest and ignored the needs of the community. Declining to take part in public life, such as (semi-)democratic government of the polis (city state, e.g. Athenian democracy) was considered dishonorable. "Idiots" were seen as having bad judgment in public and political matters. Over time, the term "idiot" shifted away from its original connotation of selfishness and came to refer to individuals with overall bad judgment–individuals who are "stupid."
Ptolemaic Egypt, idiotès was a term for soldier (etymologically parallel to that word which derives from sold 'pay'), derived from the idios logos, the Ptolemies' royal treasury that paid them.
In modern
English usage, the terms "idiot" and "idiocy" describe an extreme folly or stupidity, its symptoms (foolish or stupid utterance or deed). In psychology, it is a historical term for the state or condition now called profound mental retardation.

She is leaving....

LT is going to leave Penang if she able to get a new job in Kuala Lumpur. Maybe that is the best option for her. Finally she going to leave Penang, the place she always wants to escape from. I think she will be happy to stay there. I should happy for her too, right? ... but....

If she didnt reject me last week, i would request her to stay..... but, seem i have no right to do it now... i have a strong feeling that she will never move back to Penang again... .. feeling so dizzy right now..

Sleepy day.....zzZZZ

Today is a sleepy day... Drank some beer with my housemate last night until almost drunk, and felt want to vomit. :( Should not drink so much next time

Cute Egyptian Tortoise

A newborn Egyptian Tortoise sits on the finger of its keeper at Chester Zoo in north west England May 23, 2006. The zoo has hatched six of the Testudo Kleinmanni tortoises which are currently on the critically endangered list. REUTERS/Phil Noble

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Dinner -> Take away again

It has been 3 months i never eat home cook food. Sigh... take away take away, everyday take away, take my life away....

A difficult call

Just gave LT a call... in fact i struggled around 10 minutes to make the call. She just told me we are not suitable to each other last week, even though i not agree with that, but i have to accept it, i have to respect her feel, no matter its hurt or bitter.

The call is ok. At least we talked in a much better way than i expected. I heard her voice again, which i miss so much everyday. Talk with the love one but have to act as a normal friend, difficult right?

Actually i gave her my blog url. Hmm... you might feel that i am purposely doing that and then use this way to let her know my love to her, all are planned, right? Whether you believe it or not, i dont have such intention. I just feel that since i would post our story here, she as the main character has the right to know it. I will prove that by posting some critics on her weaknesses that i hope she can get rid of them. I would just write my blog assuming she will never have chance to read them.

Anyway, I still very love her. As my junior said, even she rejected me, doesnt mean i cant love her. Keep the love in heart, pray that she will get her happiness.

The thing you want to get VS The thing you lost

There was a spider lived more than a thousand years in a temple. One day, Buddha came and asked it, "What is the most valueable thing in life?" The spider answered "The thing you want to get but yet to get" The Buddha then said, "You should think more about it", then left.

After a thousand years, Buddha came back to the temple and asked the spider again, "What is the most valueable thing in life?" The spider still answered "The thing you want to get but yet to get" The Buddha then said, "You should think more about it again", then left.

One day, a drop of water fallen onto the spider's web, the spider was attracted by the crystal clear water and love it very much. However, the wind blowed the water drop away. The spider felt so sad as it lost the water drop. Buddha came back after that and asked again, " What is the most valueable thing in life?" The spider answered "The thing you want to get but yet to get and The thing you used to have but you lost it" Buddha then said, "if this is your answer, then i give a chance to become human being."

The spider was then born as a girl in a rich family, and was named as Choo. As Choo grown up, she became a very beautiful girl. At Choo's 16 yrs old, Emperor set up a banquet for the top scholar, Lu (water drop), in the Palace. Choo's family was invited. Lu showed off his knowledge in the dinner and had attracted all the girls there, including Emperor's youngest Princess, Feng (wind).

Few days later, Choo went to temple for pray, and coincidently met Lu and his mother. Choo then used the chance to confess to Lu, and even reminded him "Dont you remember the spider in the temple 16 years ago?" Lu felt she was joking and left with his mother. Choo felt puzzled, why fate arranged them to meet each other, but made him forgot everything of past. Few days after that, Emperor ordered Choo to marry King Grass. Choo felt so sad and then sicked. As Choo was dying, King Grass heard the condition and rushed to Choo's house.

King Grass told Choo, "I saw you in the dinner and i love you very much. Then i begged to Emperor many days only He agreed to order you to marry me. If you die, I cant live alone as well" Then King Grass took out his sword and wanted to suicide.

Suddenly, Buddha appeared. Buddha told Choo, "Do you know who brought the water drop to you? It was wind. Water drop is belong to wind. Water drop was only an illusion in your life, it come and leave in a short time. Do you ever notice the grass in front of the temple? The grass was looked at you for 3 thousands years, admired you for 3 thousands years, but you never take a look at it. Spider, do you know, What is the most valueable thing in life?"

Spider answered, "The most valueable thing in life is neither The thing you want to get but yet to get nor The thing you used to have but you lost it. The most valueable thing in life is the thing you are having" Buddha disappeared after listened to the answer. Choo suddenly recovered and able to stop King Grass from commit suicide, and they smile happily at each other.

I translated this story from an article i read. However, my english is not good enough to translate the whole story originally. I made some modifications, however, the key message is still the same. "The most valueable thing in life is neither The thing you want to get but yet to get nor The thing you used to have but you lost it. The most valueable thing in life is the thing you are having"

My Childhood

In fact i cant really remember any significant thing during my childhood, as most of the time i was staying in home. I am blurry recall that my mom would always carried me when she went to market to buy cooking ingredients. The uncles and aunties there would give me sweets sometime, and if not mistaken, that was the only way i could get out from my home, so i was always happy when i saw my mom was going out for market. But, however, many times, it was ended up with my shout and cry, because my mom was always refused to buy the toy i want :'(

I was a crying bomb when i was young. That might be due to i was always felt unsecure. If i couldnt see my parents or my brothers for more than an hour then i would start crying, and shouted really loud :( Many times the people at shops out there could hear my cry and would come and see me. Anyway, my mom didnt like that because people would say that she didnt take care me well. So everytime i would scolded by my mom after that. Deserved right?

My brothers not really like to play with me that time, well, their games always involved running. So, it always ended up that i played alone. When my mom pregnant for my younger sister, i was so happy. My dad was asking me i wanted a little sister or a little brother, and i answered immediately a little sister, because girls are not so active, i thought at least she could play with me. Yup, my dream became true, i got a little sister. But too bad, her chinese horoscope is Mouse, so i was always bitten by her when she was angried :'( how poor i was

:) Quite some of my female friends said that i can understand girls quite well, i think thats because of my childhood experience. Why? LOL, thats because i was always played with my sisters and their friends when i was young. We played cooking, acting, barbies ( :/ a bit shame to tell this) and wife-husband game. Hehehe.... now i remembered i ever hold girl's hand, but too bad that was a child's game, i cant really remember what's the feel already :p

Anything else about my childhood? i cant really recall much else already. A lot of time i would sit at my house door and see other kids playing. hmmmm... now i would feel sorry for my situation that time, but dont know why, i clearly remember that during the period, i was very excited everytime, by just watching other kids playing outside my house ... hahaha, kid!

Monday, June 19, 2006

What is the feeling of kissing?

Visited forum, a topic was posted out. A guy said he never kissing for the last 9 months, and he almost forgot the feeling of kissing...

How the feel of kissing really is? Lots of people in the forum replied him that kissing is so nice, enjoying, the moment of exchanging love with lover..... sound attracting huh? haha

Sad to say that i never kissing before, in my 25 years of life. Is this ridiculously long compare to the guy's 9 months above ? :p Well, i admit i am so desperate to know the feeling, but i hope that i would only kiss with the girl i love. Kissing with the love one, the moment is just like you ruling the world right? haha

Its like a unrealisable dream to kiss with her......

7 girls ...

My junior read my blog and asked me a question, Are you sure you had been rejected by 7 girls? so many? and you sound proud of it ... :'( can someone really feel proud for that?

Sigh... well, in fact, among the 7 girls, i had been really serious to only 3 girls of them. For the remained 4 girls, i felt nice with them and i think maybe it is good to give each other a chance. However, i gave them up after they rejected my confession, probably because i not really love them.

ET is the first girl i was loved. My ex-coursemate introduced her to me through ICQ. However, we were not really closed that time. The first time i really got a chance to have a good chat with her was around 2001. After that, we become friend and then start sms each other. She is matured, independent, outstanding and proud. I communicate with her well and slowly i found that i missed her everyday and finally i confessed to her. She didnt rejected me at first place, however, she didnt accept me as well. Ya, it is a so called "net-love", sound unrealistic huh. :) Anyway, relationship in such way is hard to maintain and both of us know that. Eventually she brought out the issue first and rejected me, of course there are many other reasons behind as well for her to make such a decision. I sad for this for more than a year and tried to get her back at the same time. However, she is so firm with her decision and finally i gave her up. We still contact each other, and become good friend. :)

The second girl i ever serious to is KL. She was my junior. I was attracted to her charism, behavior, and she looks so fair just like a princess. Anyway, i knew that she wont interest in me, and so, i didnt really do anything to date her. But, i still confessed to her, just to let her know my feel towards her so i wont feel regret in future. I treat her as friend after that.

The last girl, LT, is the girl i love most so far in my life. I knew her from ICQ ( another net-love?? nope :P)..... She added me in ICQ around 2003, and we didnt really talk much. She even called me up that time. Well, I am shy when talking with girl and i sure she felt so bore to talk with me. After some time she disappeared and never see her online again. Honestly, i almost forget about her. Until end of 2004, she appeared again suddenly, as sudden as she disappeared before. I recognized her name, but i cant remember anything about her except her name. That time i was just got my job offer in Penang, and she is living in Penang as well, so we start to talk and slowly become closed.

hm... well, i think it is better for me to create a post specially for her since she is so special for me :p Be patience, if you really interest to know :)

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Alone in Penang

I have been working in Penang for 15 months. However, I still cant really make any close friend yet. First of course is because i am living too far from most of my friends and colleagues; second that might due to too much of places are not convenient for me to go, therefore my friends would never consider me in their activities contact list. What to do, infrastructure here would never taking into account the necessity of disabled people.

So, how do i kill my "excessive" free time? hmm..... thats crap.... seem i have always wasting most of my time by watching tv, vcd and surf net.... sound boring huh.

Well, i plan to change all of these, i had enough with this dull life. The first thing i did is try to know more net-friends through forum and if everything fine, meet some of them and hopefully able to hook up with them. By making massive amount of friends, the chances for me the get involve in any of their activity are higher. does it make sense? hehehe

The other thing i am trying out is make my face skin thicker so i would not feel shame to take initative to join my colleagues' activities. However, i try my best to avoid putting any burden on them. Ya, hopefully i am....

Ha, now i got one more stuff to do, post message in this blog, though i not sure anyone is reading. Well, scratching my head to squeeze something to write here can really take away a lot of my time.. but it will getting better, hehe, posting blog message is not a school homework after all, i know i will enjoy it :)

Hopefully you are not in same situation as me. Loneliness can really kill ... so, do something!

Saturday, June 17, 2006


Talked with one of my junior 2 nights ago. The focus of conversation was why we always feel depress for our own past, no matter they were due to our own mistakes, or others' faults. She felt so unhappy and depressed for a matter that happened during her childhood, and that incident has haunting her for more than 10 yrs. In fact, i was feeling down, moody, and depressed at the same time too, because i was just rejected a by a girl again :'( ....

Well, i know her well enough, if i didnt say something to cheer her up, she definitely would cry overnight again... duh... then suddenly some words come out from my mind

"What happened cant be undone, we cant change anything by asking for reasons, it is better that working hard for our own future, to make those what going to happen, happened as what we want"

LOL, cool huh... i never expect i can come out with these words, and she seem really convinced by them...

Well, not only her, I have to fight for my own fututre too.... :'( Lets do it !!

My Parents

I think my family deserved the very first posts in my blog. Without them, i cant be myself today. The pics were taken at my convocation for Ms.E&E -> My dad, mom, my lovely sister and of course me.... hehe, well, i proud of them ... Can you imaging in sending a person to school everyday for 8 yrs with a motorcycle, regardless its was raining, thundering, hot or cold? Hey, man, my dad did that to me.... he definitely deserved for the title of "Great father", and he is the person i really feel have to repay his kindness. When I was studying in university, he even lost his job as a rubber tapper because have to send me to lecture hall every morning, which made him late always....

My lovely mother, too, sacrificed a lot to me. Well, but sorry to say that i dont like her when i was young... how bad i am huh... sigh.... why? ... because she always forced me to drink all kinds of super bitter medicine... yucks ... and she beated me if i refused to take them :'( .... i love my mom, definitely!!! she is one of the best mother i ever seen... hoho.... she is open minded, friendly, and wise in handling relationship .....

My brothers sisters did a lot for me too... hmmm... i would like to say how lucky i am to be born in this family... without them, i cant be what i am today, might become a begger, or dead long long time ago? ..... ah.... ya, i am still trying my best... to serve them nicely.. and make them proud of me too...

First message

Hi all.

This is my first message is this simple blog.. i love to have friends, contact me so we can create a new friendship in this world .. sound cool huh.. :D